Why gaming isn’t the villain you think it is

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.” 

I heard that a lot growing up. From my mom, from my teachers, and various other people. They wanted me to think deeper and look closer. They wanted me to come to a conclusion that was supported by more than a superficial glance.

The Bible has this story about Samuel and David and is kinda something similar.

When Samuel was searching for Israel’s next king, he saw a bunch of strong, impressive brothers and thought, “Surely it’s one of these guys.” But God said, “Nope. You’re looking at the outside, I’m looking at the inside.” God wanted Samuel to see more than what he saw at first glance.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” ()

Sound familiar? Because if you’re a parent of a gamer, you might feel like Samuel standing in Jesse’s living room. You see a headset, a glowing screen, and hours of clicking buttons and you might think, “This can’t be good for them.”

But what if God sees something else? What if we can see something deeper, too?

For decades, video games have been blamed for everything from bad grades to poor posture. Gamers are caricatured as basement-dwelling hermits who can’t hold a job, a conversation, or a shower schedule. Parents worry their kids are “addicted.” Employers assume gaming equals unproductive. Even friends might roll their eyes when someone mentions they game competitively or as a hobby.

But here’s the thing. Just because Uncle Jerry never understood why his nephew spent 200 hours in Legend of Zelda doesn’t mean it wasn’t time well spent. Gaming is not only one of the world’s biggest industries (bigger than movies and music combined), but it’s also a space where people connect, problem-solve, create, and yes, even thrive.

Here’s where the struggle really lives: stigma doesn’t just attack what someone does, it attacks who they are. When a gamer is brushed off as “lazy” or “immature,” it’s not just their hobby being dismissed. It’s their passion, their relationships, their identity. That’s a heavy load to carry, especially for teens and young adults who are already struggling as they try to figure out where they fit in the world.

For some, the judgment comes from family members who don’t understand the draw. For others, it’s friends who mock their interests. And for many, it’s potential employers who see “gamer” and hear “irresponsible.” The result? A quiet loneliness. A pressure to hide something they love. A sense that they have to “grow out of” who they are.

And yet, Scripture reminds us that this kind of quick judgment isn’t new. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God told Samuel: “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” The world may look at a gamer and see wasted hours, but God sees the creativity, the skill, and the heart behind it.

Ok, here’s your warning: this next part might hurt a little.

When someone spends hours practicing piano, we say that they’re “dedicated.” When someone trains consistently day in and day out for a marathon, they’re “disciplined.” But when a gamer puts in the same level of effort to master their craft? Suddenly, it’s “a waste of time.” That’s like saying chess is valuable but chess on a computer is juvenile. Spoiler alert: it’s still chess.

Do you see the irony?

The truth is, many gamers are gaining skills that translate directly into real life. Communication. Leadership. Strategic thinking. Resilience. Grit. Not to mention how they complement the exploding world of esports, streaming, and game development careers that didn’t even exist when most of today’s parents were growing up. 

The stigma may be strong, but this is where you come in. You don’t have to become a gamer to support your gamer. You start by  understanding that gaming isn’t the villain. In fact, it might just be one of the greatest tools your child has for community, creativity, and confidence.

Ask them about the game they’re playing. Watch a match with them. Notice the leadership they’re showing in their squad. Listen for how they communicate with their team. Identify the strategies they use throughout the game. You may be surprised at how much it feels like real life—because it is real life.

So next time you see your gamer in front of that screen, headset on, talking a mile a minute to teammates across the globe, don’t sigh and think, “There goes another wasted hour.”

Instead, remember what God told Samuel: “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Because at the end of the day, gaming isn’t the problem. The stigma is. And that’s one boss battle we can actually defeat together.

Make the connection:

Observe your gamer playing a round or a match and take note of moments when you gamer displays leadership, teamwork, and resilience. Following the match, talk about what you saw. Go even deeper by asking about the different types of strategies your gamer used while playing.

Connecting gamers • Building communities • Creating champions