Fun or Toxic? How to Tell If Your Kid’s Favorite Game Is Hurting More Than Helping

So your kid’s a gamer. Embrace it.

Whether they’re building pixel palaces in Minecraft, racking up wins in Fortnite, or yelling “LET’S GOOOO!” at a glowing screen, gaming is part of your home now. Maybe even louder than you'd like. And hopefully not at 2am.

And at some point, whether you're ready for it or not, that sneaky little voice creeps in: Is what they’re playing actually good for them? 🤔

You’re not alone.

Most parents have wondered the same thing. There are games out there that inspire, games that challenge, and then there are the games that feel like they drain your kid’s soul a little more each day.

Not all games are created equal.

Some are like junk food by providing instant gratification, empty calories, and a crash afterward. Others are like brain broccoli as they are still fun, but filled with stuff that helps your kid grow.

Now before you throw the console out the window and become the villain in their story, let’s talk about what it means to help your child choose games that are healthy. 💪

It starts with knowing what they’re playing.

You're not assuming. Not guessing. But actually asking them. You’re sitting beside them. Watching. (And yes, maybe even picking up the second controller if you're brave enough.) It’s amazing what you learn just by stepping into their world for a few minutes. You’ll see pretty quickly whether a game’s content aligns with the values you’re trying to plant in their life.

And sure, ESRB ratings help.


E for Everyone, T for Teen, M for Mature (i.e. more than you want in your living room), but the label isn’t the whole story. One “Teen” game might be full of teamwork and adventure, another might be a snarky mess of language and ego.


It’s just like TV. Just because it’s rated the same doesn’t mean it hits the same. Look it up on Common Sense Media, Plugged In, or even YouTube. Watch gameplay clips. Read what other parents are saying. Your gut will tell you what’s okay and what’s definitely not.

And then there’s the question not enough people ask: What kind of fruit does this game produce in my kid’s life?

Do they walk away from the screen more patient? Or more aggressive? Do they want to create and connect? Or do they spiral into isolation and frustration? You’ll know the answers if you just watch closely after they log off.

Games are more than just entertainment, they’re influence. They shape your kid’s thoughts, emotions, maybe even their view of themselves. That makes them a lot like friends. And just like with friendships, we want our kids to pick ones that build them up, not break them down.

So teach them to ask better questions. Not just “Is this game fun?” but “What’s it teaching me?” and “How does this game make me feel afterward?” and “Would I be proud to show this to someone who cares about me?”

They don’t need you to micromanage every click. But they do need you to guide them how to think so they can move toward games that help them grow. Games that stir up creativity. Games that encourage teamwork, problem-solving, leadership. Games that tell stories worth remembering.

There’s definitely a place for competitive chaos. Let them blow off steam in a round of Fortnite or Super Smash Bros. once in a while. But sprinkle in the games that build, not just break. Games where they collaborate. Games that inspire. Games that ask something of their heart, not just their thumbs.

And as you help them navigate this world, remember: rules matter, but so does relationship. Don’t just say no because it’s too violent or too weird or too whatever. Say, “We’re aiming for more than just ‘okay.’ We want what’s healthy. What’s wise. What grows your heart.”

And yes, you’re still the parent.

Even if they speak fluent gamer and you still call everything “the Nintendo,” you get to lead. You get to shape the atmosphere of your home. You get to point them toward what’s best while it takes time for them to understand why.

The goal isn’t just to raise gamers.

It’s to raise healthy humans who happen to play games. People with compassion, creativity, courage created in God’s image who don’t just consume what’s handed to them, but choose what’s good.

So take a deep breath. Grab a seat beside them. Ask questions. Laugh a little. Learn a lot. And maybe, just maybe, pick up that second controller and join in.

You’ve got this.

And if you stretch first, they might not even beat you every time.

Make the connection:

In Matthew 7:16, Jesus said, “You’ll recognize them by their fruit.” That doesn’t just apply to people but to what influences people too.

How might we see what kind of fruit is growing in our children’s lives from the games they play and then decide if it's time to prune and plant something better?