When Gaming Becomes a Solo Sport

So, your kid is spending a lot of time playing video games alone…

And by "a lot," we mean they’ve basically formed a committed relationship with their headset, have a deeper bond with their console than with their cousin, and speak more fluent Minecraft than English.

Before you panic or try to delete every app that ends in “-craft” or “-night,” let’s take a breath. This isn’t a “video games are evil” article. I promise.

But it is a look behind the screen because sometimes, gaming in isolation isn’t just a hobby. It’s a signal.

Let’s connect some dots.

Social muscles don’t grow in a cave. You know how kids get better at soccer by playing soccer? Or become better readers by reading? Same deal with friendships. Kids need actual practice with people to grow socially—facial expressions, tone of voice, awkward pauses, and all.

But if our kids spend most of their time battling digital dragons instead of sharing snacks and side-eyes with real friends those social muscles become under-leveled.

I’ll admit that video games can be a comfort zone. And that's the problem.

Let’s be honest: you and I both know that the virtual world is easier to manage than real life. 💯

Games have a few things going for them: rules, structure, progress bars. They can be predictable.

But real life? That’s different. It’s messy. There’s rejection. Awkward group texts. Unpredictable humans with feelings.

So, if your kid feels anxious, awkward, or like they don’t fit in, games offer an escape hatch. And once they find that safe zone, it gets harder and scarier to leave it.

And while it may look like they’re “just gaming,” they might really be protecting themselves from the risk of trying and failing socially.

Think about your closest friends. How did those relationships form? I’m going to guess it was through stuff like shared experiences, inside jokes, and late-night Taco Bell runs. The kind of memories you can’t make with a screen.

Kids who only game alone don’t get those moments.

They don’t have the “remember when we…” stories. They don’t feel seen and celebrated by someone who gets them.

And it’s not that they can’t make friends. It’s that they’re not in environments where friendships can grow.

It’s like planting seeds in a desert and wondering why nothing’s blooming.

Here’s the kicker: isolation leads to gaming, and gaming (alone) leads to more isolation.

Your child might start with a little loneliness, escape into solo play, and before you know it, it’s been weeks since they’ve seen a real-life peer.

Que the negative thoughts: “No one wants to hang out with me.”

So they game more. Which reinforces the loneliness. It’s like Groundhog Day, but with more blue light and fewer Bill Murrays.

We’re not (yet) at the point where AI will laugh at your kid’s jokes. In game NPCs won’t ask how your kid’s day was, challenge their thinking, and definitely won’t say, “Hey, that was a really cool idea.”

And while solo games can be fun, there’s something irreplaceable about human connection. Even when that connection is messy. Especially when it’s messy.

Because being seen, known, and valued by real people is what gives life color.

Here’s the part where you don’t have to freak out, unplug the monitor, or stage a dramatic unplugging of the router. (None of which are good ideas anyhow.)

Instead, here’s 4 things that you can do:

Notice, don’t just nag. Ask questions like, “Do you ever wish you had someone to play that with?” or “Would it be fun to have a friend over to game together?”

Invite them into real-life shared experiences. Things like board games, group movie nights, youth group, and event gaming centers. Anything that gets them around peers.

Help them build bridges. Sometimes kids want connection but don’t know how to initiate. Offer ideas. Create opportunities. Celebrate effort, not just results.

Model connection. Show them what real friendships look like. Let them see you choosing people over screens sometimes, too. Especially during meal times.

The truth is your kid may not be “addicted.” They might just be lonely. Or unsure of how to connect. Or a little afraid to try. Or some of all three.

Video games aren’t the enemy. But isolation might be.

So instead of shutting down the console, open up conversation. Open the door to shared experiences. Open the possibility of something better than “just one more level.”

Because while games are fun, life wasn’t meant to be played in single-player mode.

Make the connection:

• How might we help our players trade gaming in isolation for meaningful moments with others?

We are #ForTheGamer and help players play with purpose and win for good.